I got sick as a dog on Friday. I was sure it wasn't the flu since I don't have a fever...but according to Anderson Cooper HE had the flu and didn't have a fever so there you go...it must be true...I have the flu too!!! I don't think I have been this sick since high school. It hurts to breath and coughing is a nightmare...but my fear of fears is either not being better in time for our cruise on Saturday or passing this on to my family. Render has been buying me wonton soup by the ton. I'm joking that soup is my new God. Oh and we found out the stores are OUT of Purell...we must not be the only ones fearing further infection. I hope everyone else out there is staying healthy. Stock up on Purell if your store has it!

12 days without a job.
5 days of active job hunting.
4 resumes sent.
0 offers.

= Getting used to being home all day.

I return to livejournal to post my thoughts about integrity and the lack of integrity. Two weeks ago I went to work. I am a child advocate and part of my job is to go to court and give the court updates on the children who are in the custody of Children's Services. I presented my report to the court. Also realize that as I presented my report, I was seated with our staff attorney. CSB was also present in court with their staff attorney. Upon completion of my report the magistrate expressed concern about how CSB was behaving (I won't get into the details) but she asked if I would arrange a meeting between the teenager on the case and herself. The teen had runaway from a locked residential facility. I told the magistrate that the teen would not come in because CSB had threatened that when she turned herself in "her butt was going back to the facility." The magistrate then requested I arrange for her to meet with the teen at a location chosen by the teen and "you are not to report the location to CSB." I then turned to our staff attorney and asked "am I allowed to do this?" She reported, "if the magistrate orders you, you have to follow through." CSB never objected. I then returned to my office and informed my supervisor and my program director. Both patted me on the back and told me I was doing a good job. I followed through with the order and arranged a meeting with the teen and the magistrate.

Now let's fast forward a week...CSB files a complaint with the judge about the magistrates order and my behavior. Apparently they are alleging that the magistrate acted improperly and outside of the law. My office assures me that I have nothing to fear because they support me and I did nothing wrong.

Fast forward anothe week...the heat is on. The judge is furious that the magistrate and I met with a teen who was AWOL. Apparently there is now huge liability for the court and yes the magistrate did act improperly. But certainly I have nothing to fear? The court session was recorded and the judge will see I was only following an order of the magistrate right? I was told to follow the order by our staff attorney, by my supervisor and the program director, so I will be supported, right? WRONG! Everyone started telling me that this was all so unfair and telling me what a great worker I am and how sorry they are that I am in so much trouble with the court...ummm, but you guys told me to follow the order *crickets chirping* Here is the lack of integrity...NOBODY went to the judge and made that clear...now maybe that wouldn't have changed the actions of the judge and I knew the writing was on the wall...I was going to be fired.

So last Tuesday I resigned. I called everyone on my case load and said goodbye...I update my cases and left on my own terms. The following day security escorted the magistrate out of the court house...thank God I left on my own and didn't suffer that humiliation.

Everyone was kind, loving and hugged me. But nobody stepped up and did what should have been done...nobody said anything to the judge...nobody risked looking bad...they let me take the fall...nobody acted with integrity.

It is day three of rain...I could build an ark but instead I think I will go back to bed and spend the rest of the day obsessing on Project Runway Australia. I know that will make Render happy!

We went to Kalahari Water Park. It was not the fun fest I had hoped for. Day 1: The neighbors were loud and at 1:30 AM after multiple complaints to the management I drove all the way home (90 miles) so I could sleep. Stop laughing at me!!! I was sleep deprived and it seemed like a reasonable solution at the moment! Day 2: Went to the water park. It was so crowded!!! There were no tubes for the lazy river, the wave pool was beyond crowded and I have never seen so many droopy pants and hairy butts in my life! Day 3: It is fun being lazy and hanging out with my boys. I guess this is what the trip is really about! I'm glad I came but I don't think I will come back until the unschooling conference next February.

I shouldn't complain...it's not like I'm dying or anything BUT I have been diagnosed with rosacea! My skin has always flushed easily and I always have red cheeks and forehead but lately my skin will NOT clear up. I went to the doctor but the topical medication she gave me actually made my skins worse. I am experimenting with a lot of different cleansers...no luck. Today I'm trying the dietary approach. Maybe boosting my the Omega 3 in my diet will help. I'm also getting rid of any inflammatory foods like potatoes and bagels *drool* I love my high glycemic foods! But the thought of having the complexion of Bill Clinton is definitely motivating me to change!

I had a dream last night that "Friends The Play" was at a small local dinner theater and I went to see it...I realized that the entire cast from the TV show was in the play but I got so drunk I blacked out and couldn't remember a thing...I just woke up with a date and time written on my hand...

How bizzaro is that???

Oh boy...two new friends last night and they are banned already...what is this??? I guess I have an unnatural attraction to spammers on livejournal!

Well I'm doing a 3 mile walkathon today *feel the burn* Thank God it is GORGEOUS outside!!!

Has anyone seen all the Michigan ads? I LOVE THEM!!! I want to move to Michigan BAD! Render said there is NO reason for us to move there...I guess I'm just a victim of a great ad campaign!

Salma's burial was so beautiful. She passed at 12:01 this morning and was buried this evening at 6:00. I learned today that Muslims strive to bury the deceased as soon as possible after death, avoiding the need for embalming or otherwise disturbing the body of the deceased, that is why the burial was so fast. Salma's body was never touched by strangers. In preparation for burial, the family and close friends washed her. She was then wrapped in sheets of white linen. She was placed in a simple pine casket for the calling hours. She looked so tiny and small.

After the calling hours there was a short prayer service at the Muslim Community Center. After prayer we processed to the cemetery.

When we all arrived at the cemetery, Salma's sons Zaigam and Junaid stepped into the grave and Salma's wrapped and covered body was taken out of the casket and placed into their arms. Her sons placed her body into the grave. We all remained while the grave site was filled with soil. During that time we stood together in the rain and shared stories and memories of Salma. Then a simple prayer was said.

I was so proud to have been Salma's friend. This service was a beautiful ending to a beautiful life.

Is anyone else getting tons of notices from fake people on livejournal? I have four different people wanting to friend me...I banned them because they have no journal...anyone else???

I have been pretty lame here on livejournal lately...I still love you all but I may have turned to the dark side...YUP...facebook.com

Are you guys on it? Let me know so I can friend you!

I think there is something seriously wrong with me....I think I am a lunatic! I just went on facebook and saw that my best friend in high school is friends with EVERYONE from our class...she didn't even speak to these people in high school!!! I keep wondering why she is facebook friends with them all??? Then it clicks...WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME!!!! THESE PEOPLE ARE FROM MY PAST!!!! WHY DO I CARE????

Okay I feel better now *sigh* Not really. I have issues folks.

of our kitchen remodel. Phase 1: New appliances, new lighting and new knobs (we needed 54). Phase 2: new counter tops...Phase 3: new floor and walls. It is so hard to be disciplined to spend only what we have saved and not go into debt over this...well it only took 9 years for phase 1...I'm sure we will complete the kitchen before I die!!!

I wake up this morning and it is snowing. We are supposed to get 6-10 inches of snow. So what do I do? Run to the television and check for school closings. I am THRILLED that schools are closed. This may not seem odd EXCEPT my children are home schooled. I think I have been so deeply conditioned for 12 years of my life, that I can't break the emotional reaction I have to school closings...I am a bit odd.

If you won the lottery last night...what is the FIRST thing you would do differently today?

Just say no to extended family.

We had a wonderful December 25th. Render, Dylan, Jason and I spent the day together. Went out for a sushi lunch and picked movies at the video store...Jason and Michael went to the movies and Dylan and I hung out together. Guess what? No crazy family, no high blood pressure and no anxiety.

How did you all celebrate?  We just got back from a party at the UU church.  It was fun and lots of yummy food :-)